Monday, July 23, 2012

About Finding My Rhythm

Singing in my car along to all my favorite songs is one of my favorite things to do, but only when the music is loud enough that I can't hear myself. Simply put, I'm not a singer. I tend to speak the lyrics instead of sing them, I lack rhythm. I've been told this by multiple people and those comments put the seed into my head and sprouted its roots, making me too self conscious to ever let anybody hear me sing, even if it is just in the car along to the radio. The other night as I drove a friend home, a classic song came on and we both started singing along to it. After the song ended I laughed and apologized for my terrible singing voice, explaining that I don't have any rhythm and using that as my excuse. He shrugged it off and told me that all I needed to do was practice and that I would find my own rhythm along the way.

This message struck me in more ways than one. I decided to take it both literally and figuratively. Today, as I drove around town running errands I decided to give it a shot. I decided to practice my singing with the music at a volume that allowed me to hear myself. At first, it felt a little strange and I cringed at the sound of my own voice. However, after a few songs I began to sound better, or maybe I just began to feel more comfortable. I felt like I was really singing, and not just speaking. I felt like I had found my rhythm.

To parallel this, I feel like I have found my rhythm in life lately. I could call it a lot of things--rhythm, niche, place--simply put it relates to what makes me happy. This summer has been one of self loving and self discovery and it is exactly what I have been needing. I've spent time with people I love and stopped worrying about those who aren't worth it. I've worked like crazy and enjoyed feeling close to the people I spend my days with and savored the feeling of purpose and hard work. Recently, I've discovered a lot of things that make my heart soar and on the top of that list is Boston University.

Boston University is the next verse in my song and it feels as if the rhythm of my life flows there without missing a beat--I made the right choice. Being able to say that makes me proud, because it wouldn't have been achieved if I hadn't worked hard and never given up on my dreams. I applied to ten schools which were scattered from Boston, to Denver, to Seattle. I could have ended up anywhere, studying anything, but in the end I'm going to BU and I know that if I'm Cinderella, it's the glass slipper, It's the window to my dreams and my fairy tale ending. I visited Boston for the first time when I was eleven years old and my loquacious, blonde, ever-confident self firmly stated "I'm going to live here when I grow up". Nothing is more exciting to me than seeing myself reach that dream, and eleven year old me--as well as eighteen year old me--couldn't be prouder (or more excited to be a Red Sox fan and a Terrier!). I think that this is all part of finding my own personal rhythm. Knowing that I worked hard and got where I wanted, knowing that I made the right decision and knowing that I'm marching to the beat of my own drum in whichever direction I choose--because I can.

We all have the option in life to turn up the music louder to block out our sound because somebody else told us to. We can listen to the voices that we already know are good and be too embarrassed to let our own be heard. Or, we can break free. We can turn down the volume of all of those who bring us down and find our own rhythm, belting it out for the world to hear.

As the wise Dr. Suess once said: "You've got brains in your head and feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself in whatever direction you choose!"

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